The Worst Thing Is Love
by Moment-4-Life
Summary: Sam is in love with Rachel who, unfortunately, is still in a relationship with Finn. Finchel Samchel


**Another Samchel fic full or angst and longing. Could be seen as a prequel to The Growing Relationship Of Samchel Over Facebook but that's up to you. I'm really glad there is many more people who are fans of this pairing, I thought I was on my own lol. I hope they do have at least a few moments in season 3. They would get along really well if Ryan Murphy gave them a chance. If not a relationship then at least a friendship? **

**A few spoilers for upcoming episodes! **

**Pairings: Finchel (Finn/Rachel), Samchel (Sam/Rachel) past mentions of Rill (Will/Rachel), Puckleberry(Puck/Rachel), (Raine)Blaine/Rachel, St Berry (Jesse/Rachel).**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, just the storyline.**

**This is in Sam's POV. I hope you like it.**

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For me love is definitely NOT the best thing in my life. In fact it's the total opposite. The skipped heartbeats, the hidden touches, sweet kisses, lingering looks and whipped smiles are supposedly the very things that make love amazing, Perplexing and simply breath taking... but I don't get any of those things, not a single one.

For me, love makes my heart wrench and twist in agony and anguish, the closest I get to a touch is the occasional and accidental brush of a hand as we glide past each other whilst dancing, No kisses what so ever, plenty of lingering looks on my side filled with longing and very few full blown grins when our eyes meet, sky blue and dark brown clashing together for a split second before she's either engulfed into the bodies of Puck or Finn, or turning away to talk with Kurt (he transferred back after much persuasion from the Glee club) and Mercedes.

There's a few times I've actually been _stupid _enough to even think she has harboured romantic feelings for me but every time I come crashing back down into reality when I realize that she's still so very much in love with one Finn Hudson who, from what I've heard, has slept with her enemy, dumped her twice, admitted he still has feelings for his ex Quinn Fabray, blocks her out half the time, always points out her flaws -Which by the way are adorable, not frustrating- and doesn't even have the guts to stick up for her in Glee.

I would do all of that in a heartbeat and more. In fact I could and would be the most amazing and sweetest boyfriend she has ever had (Which her past lovers have all failed to do). I'll buy her pretty flowers; mostly lilacs because they're her favourite ( She told me and the guys one lunch time), open doors for her (She constantly scolds Finn for not being Chivalrous enough), sing sappy love songs (Finn hardly ever does that) and I will declare my love for her each and every day because I know she needs to hear it; her insecurities have sky rocketed since Jesse, Puck, Mr Shuester, Finn and Blaine all dumped/rejected her without a second thought.

I just wish i could be the one to save her and heal her broken heart. Make her smile that mega watt smile again, allow her to let down her walls just for a second and not fear being trampled on carelessly by everyone... All I want is for her to be _happy _again, be Rachel Berry once more. I know that I would love her with every inch of my beating heart because her name has already been etched into it, forever engraved until the day I die and even then it will still be with her, _I _will be with her.

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I walk down the hallway with a unusual happy smile on my face, so unlike the grimace that normally adorns my features. I slept well last night, no tossing or turning or heart breaking thoughts because for once in my dream, the same one I have every single _fucking _night since It dawned on me that I am in love with Rachel Berry, I have a happy classic fairy tale ending. Rachel chooses _me. _I normally dream about her and me being a normal teenage couple; sappy smiles, romantic dinners, cuddles and heavy make out sessions, petty arguments, cute pet names and finishing each others sentences, the lot.

Then one day I get down on one knee and propose, shaking with nerves. I give her a huge speech that I spent the last two weeks preparing (Nothing less would do) and then ask her those two tiny life changing words. She's beaming the whole way through it and at the end she opens her mouth to answer, happy tears cascading down her face, when Finn barges into the house with his signature lopp-sided grin and the next thing I know, she's under his arm as they walk away giggling and laughing happily before I can even blink.

Sometimes it's also Puck but I know that every. single. _freaking._ time. I feel another piece of my fragile heart dislodge itself before smashing into the floor, the pieces scattering everywhere. However, last night was just... _Wow, _it felt so _real _and _alive_. Nobody intrudes, nothing is ruined, I utter the words 'marry me' and all of a sudden she's in my arms screaming and squealing 'Yes! _Yesyesyesyesyes! YES!'. _That has to mean something right?

I let out a frustrated sigh as my head starts to ache. I'm so confused and lost, it's killing me. The sleepless nights, the never ending ache inside me, the constant pain and pined looks... all to do with the little diva. Emotionally and Physically. I've fell hard and deep, I know that for sure, but the distress and constant torment I have to face because she wasn't there to catch me makes my life seem _almost _unbearable.

"Hello Sam!" Greets a familiar high voice. Just the sound of it pulls at my heart strings.

I feel my throat dry up as I gulp audibly."Uh- I... H-hey." I'm such a douche. A frog lipped, lemon headed _Douche _who can't even speak to her without stuttering like a blubbering idiot. I really feel like banging my head against a brick wall.

She smiles the adorable smile that never fails to make me swoon and melt- _Man I'm such a girl_- and quickens her pace a little to keep up with me as I try to escape, unbeknownst to her."Have you seen Finn?" she asks looking around for any sign of the tall baby faced Quarterback.

Of _course. _I mean she would never even think about speaking to me just because she wants to. I should of known it had to be something to do with her boyfriend Finn Hudson; It's_ always_ about him."Nope." I finally get out, able to keep the bitterness and coldness to a bare minimum. I wish Quinn would just make a move on him already and get him out the picture. I hate him. He has the girl I love _and_ my ex girlfriend used to mutter his name sometimes as we made out. Life sucks.

"Ohh." She slumps a little at my response.

I can't help but ask, "Why?" even through I know her reply will most likely cause me more pain.

She tilts her head to the left as she studies me. Her brows furrowing a little as her eyes slowly scan my face before returning to my eyes. There's new something in her eyes, something I've never seen before."Why are you so neurotic?"

"Huh?" The question throws me off guard. _Neurotic?_ What the hell?

"I mean one minute you are really cheerful and happy around me and the next..." She trails off and my heartbeat increases, along with my breath. She's figured it out. I know she has. I don't think I can handle the rejection; not today.

"Do you not like Finn?"

I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding as a pained smile crosses my face. She doesn't know. Somehow I think it would be a lot better if she did...

Rachel, unfortunately, takes my sad smile as a yes to her question."I did not know that you felt that way. I can tell Finn to not hassle you as much if you'd like?"

That would be good and whilst your at it, dump him as well."No I do like Finn." _Lie._"Just a lot on my mind, that's all."

The little diva nods before hurt flashes through her eyes."Then why do you only act that way around me?" A sad pout forms on her full red lips and all I want to do is just kiss it away. Something I will never be able to do.

"I don't." _Another lie._

"Don't lie Samuel." Damn I was hoping she'd believe me.

"I- it's nothing Rachel."

The look on her face is almost too much to bare. It reminds me of Brittany when her cat died. Pilchard? Nickle? Pickles was it? I gently grab her hands in mine and look her dead in the eye. I can't help but think how perfectly her hands fit in mine."I can't."

"Please." Her eyes are silently begging me to tell her. This is another bad thing about love. You always give in.

"Okay." I breath out quietly. My hands are starting to sweat from all the nerves. I can't believe I just said that.

She grins a little and inches closer eagerly. Our heads just millimetres apart. I'd only have to lean in a little and our lips would be touching. Fireworks would explode."I..."I take a huge gulp as I steady myself. There's no backing down now."I lo-"

"Hey Rach!" Shouts Finn sliding in between us and pulling the said girl in for a bone crushing hug. Rachel giggles a little as he lets her go, quickly pulling him back in for a kiss. My heart drops at the sight and I shift my eyes away.

"Puck's waiting for us near our maths class. He says he's gonna attend today cuz you threatened to shave his ma hawk or something like that." Laughs Finn slinging a arm lazily around the tiny brunette's shoulder.

"Good." She replies happily before turning to face me."We'll talk later yeah?"

I nod even though I know we won't. It took me four agonizing months to build up the courage to finally tell her and now I've seen how happy she is with her current boyfriend, I know I can't tell her... Ever. I love her enough to let her go, even though she's wasn't mine in the first place. She belongs with Finn Hudson, not Sam Evans. I want her to be happy and she is, so if that means I have to spend the rest of my life heartbroken then so be it...

As I watch her walk away along with my heart I allow the tears fall. For me love is definitely not the best thing in my life. In fact it's by far the worst thing in my life.

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**Reviews are welcome:) **


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